I Have A Dream... YES WE CAN!

Election Day/To All The Special Women I Know

It has been a long time since I have blogged and for those who are following me please forgive me. Life gets in the way sometimes. Nothing new is going on. There is a snag in me going back to school through the program I talked about earlier but it is only a snag not a complete collapse. I will continue to see that dream come true no matter how long it takes. My family is doing well. Today is election day and I got up early (for those who know me well you know that is HUGE for me) and I got in line right as the polls opened. I stood in line gave my name and walked into the voting booth with much pride in my heart and a tear in my eye. This is a very emotional election for me. I felt like I carried my mother, Father and my entire ancestral pool with me on my back. I felt I made that vote for them. I proudly pushed the button for Barack Obama and Joe Biden with no reservations. With complete faith that I was doing the right thing for this country and my family. I have never been more sure of a choice for President in my entire adult life. I see this vote as a vote for the betterment of the people of this country who are forced to recognize that a African American can the right choice to lead the United States Of America to the future. That color should never be an issue when choosing the right person to fill a political office. And to help heal relations that for so long has been simmering at a near boil. I hope people can see a different kind of view of people of color when they watch Barack run this country. It is still early and I hope the turn out is huge and I hope to go to sleep tonight knowing that our country will be in the hands of a brilliant man who will make this world a better place.

And to my wonderful lady friends I wanted to leave you with this:

To all the special women I know .. ! In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting.' Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. S he is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this: 'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.' 'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.' 'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.' 'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.' 'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.' 'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.' 'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.' 'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.' 'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.' 'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.' 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' Please send this to the phenomenal women today.. If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another woman's self-esteem.

I hope this one helps to end your day with a smile, or begin one with sunshine!

Until next time with love,
Jersey

Theme song for my life

It has been a few days since I have had any revelations to talk about. I spend a lot of time thinking and trying to figure out what being 40 is supposed to mean for me. My head lies to me and says that girl you aren't 40 you are only 21 and you know it. Then I roll out of bed and I remember that I am indeed not 21 any longer. I have decided that there are a few things I need to finish that I started years ago and life got in the way and I never actually finished. I have decided to embrace what life has let slip away from me and I am going to go back to college. I have even found a program that will pay for it. I have the opportunity to go to college for free. It is amazing. I prayed for God to find a way for me to be able to figure out what is next for me then the next day in my email is a message from a friend of mine about a program that the University of Pennsylvania has that will help me go back and finish what I started over 20 years ago. I will be a college student once again. And it feels pretty good. My husband is supporting my decision to go full time and my son and myself will do our homework together. I feel like it is time for me to do what I intended to do so long ago. Now I just need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe an astronaut or a RN or maybe even an Indian Chief! But whatever direction I chose to follow I know it will end up in a place of great pride. This feels really good. Another message I received via God was a song by of all people Kid Rock. I am not a Kid Rock fan. I am way past enjoying his musical tastes. But while watching Ellen the other day he sung a new song called "Roll On" And it really spoke to me. The words were exactly what I needed to hear. Life is a roller coaster. And you need to go with the flow. There are times of great highs and times of great lows but life Rolls on. Regardless. And it is up to us to find a way to weather the storm. So thanks Kid Rock. You have found a way to give me direction and purpose and to hear what my heart was trying to tell me. I appreciate it.

Roll On- By Kid Rock


Sittin here alone
I'm lookin back on where I've roamed
And laughin, oh how I swore
I'd win and not get burned.
Left my family, left my home
I worked my fingers to the bone
And there was not a stone
I did not leave unturned.

And I was having a good time
Oh, Roll On, roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
and one step closer.
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, were on borrowed time.
So roll on, roll on rollercoaster,
Roll on tonight

Money and success
I don't complain about the stress
I wanted this and now its here
So I don't bitch.
And I swear that time's a trick
It disappears oh so quick
Man I was just 16,
Now I'm staring at 36.
But I'm still having a good time! (Good time!)

Oh, Roll On, roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
and one step closer.
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, were on borrowed time.
So roll on, roll on rollercoaster,
Roll on tonight

And I know it's hard to see with the sun in your eyes
But one day you're gonna say I saw the light

And now headin' for the hill
And I just cannot wait until
My children grow up to have children of their own
And I'll be telling them about
The times I turned the party out
And how I stood against an army all alone
Drinkin' wine and stayin' high
And realized it couldn't last
And how I turned myself around
And went down another path
And the signs we must observe
When life's changes do occur
But most of all I'll tell them
Just how proud I am of them
And always have a good time
It's all love and good times
Let's all have a good time Yeah

Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
Roll on Roller coaster
Roll on tonight
Roll on tonight

Turning 40

I was going to grace the page today with something witty and funny and cleaver then I came across this article called Turning 40 and it said everything I was trying to say much more eloquently then I could so I am going to copy pasta it here. It is an article written by Kim Dziobak. I am giving her full credit for the article. And the link to the article is at the end. I just love her outlook on life and I want to be like her when I grow up. Enjoy!

Most of us, at one point or another, take a moment to evaluate our lives and the paths that we have chosen to take. We each do it at different times and with different emphasis. Sometimes people do it around high school or college graduation time, when deciding what career to pursue, how we want to be regarded by society, friends, and family or how to transition ourselves from a student to a grown up.

Some people do the evaluative process when planning for a family. Sometimes it takes the illness or death of a family member, or some other tragic event to make us stop and see if we are taking our life in the right direction.

For many of us, however, hitting a certain age can cause one to stop and take pause. This happened to me last summer. I had just hit the big 3-9 and I realized that in less than one year I would be 40 years old. Now, I have been saying and believing that today’s 40 is yesterday’s 30, but I was still a bit shocked at the prospect that I would soon be what I had always considered middle aged.

Part of the problem for me with aging is that I never “feel” my age. I have this preconceived notion about what a person should be feeling or doing at a given age. I am always surprised though that I never match up with what my notion is. I have also realized that no one ever wants to be their real age. If I ask my kids how old they are they always want to round up… my daughter doesn’t turn 9 for a few weeks, but today she is nine if you ask her. Teenagers try everything to look older, sometimes even getting fake IDs to get into clubs and bars. Then once we hit 21, that magic age of “real” adulthood, something happens and we start to feel like we should begin shaving off years to continue to be young. The older we get the more years we shave off.

So in turning 40, I started to think about what that meant. My husband has been busting my chops because I am getting “old”, (I turn 40 two weeks before he does, something he finds great delight in!). I remember that when my parents turned 40, I thought that it did seem old. Today, I don’t feel like I thought 40 would feel. I certainly don’t feel old; I certainly don’t feel like 20 either! So how am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to act? Do I have to be more serious and mature? Am I suppose to start looking into botox, or getting plastic surgery? Should I start buying sensible shoes? Do I need to start stocking my medicine cabinet differently?

In making the decision about how forty feels, and who I was going to be as a forty year old, I had to first look at who I was and how I currently felt. I have been plagued by a gnawing sense of insecurity since childhood, something that I have tried to work on for years. I didn’t always like myself and found it hard to have confidence in myself or my work. Friends and family would often be frustrated when paying me a compliment because I never wanted to believe them. I thought that they were only saying the words to be nice. But for some reason, turning 40 is making me look at my life and the things that I have accomplished differently. What I am realizing is that I really do have some good stuff under my belt. I am realizing that I am the only one holding me back and that I can have another 40 remarkable years if I let myself. I am beginning to truly believe that age is only a number and that the soul is only as old as you feel. In my research, there aren’t any hard and fast rules for how 40 acts or thinks or feels. So, I have decided to create my own definition, feel free to borrow it if you like!

I want to go to the park and run with my kids and play tag. I want to swim in the summer and sled in the winter. I want to go to a rock concert with my husband just because he asks. Or snuggle up in front of the fire because he didn’t. I want to like myself and the life that I live because I am choosing to do so. I don’t want someone to tell me that I need to act my age, I want them to be envious that I don’t. I am choosing to believe that I am worthy of friendships, love, happiness, and any compliment that someone chooses to offer. I am embracing the fact that I am going to be 40, and I am going to feel great about starting a new page in my book of life. I am choosing to go after what I want and if I don’t get it, I will choose not to let it devastate me. When that happens, I’ll pick up my behind and go after something else. I want to feel alive and proud and energized by my family, friends, and my own desire not to be a couch potato. I want to feel like dancin’. (Ok, maybe I am getting a bit carried away, but I think you get the point!)

I have never been one to focus much on my looks or to worry much about my style. Don’t get me wrong, I like to look good and stylish, but I never had the money it takes to do it up great. I am a fairly simple person and have no intention of changing that fact, but turning 40 does make me take a realistic look at the image that I put out into the world. I see this time in my life as an opportunity to possibly recreate myself, or minimally make sure that what I am I want to keep.

One thing about my image that I know that I don’t want to keep is an extra forty pounds I have been carrying around. After three children and years of eating whatever I wanted and not making exercise a priority in my life, I realize that not only was I setting a bad example for my kids, but I was looking pretty dumpy doing it. I constantly complained about my weight to my husband, who would look at me and say “what are you doing about it”. It was a legitimate question, but coming from a guy who can eat anything, doesn’t do a lot of structured exercise and still maintains his slim college weight, I was bitter to answer his question. Unfortunately, the reality was, I wasn’t doing anything but making excuses and being depressed. My birthday made me aware that enough was enough. I needed to take control and make my health a priority and get my weight in check. I didn’t want to be 40, and 40 pounds overweight. I want to be an active part of my kid’s life and carrying all this extra poundage around wasn’t allowing me to do that. So, I am changing my lifestyle. It really is about making a total mind change not just a diet change. I make time for exercise. I do the exercises that I like to do not what I think I should do. I have a couple of buddies, who I am committed to supporting and who are committed to supporting me. We are making a great team and we are all excited about the changes we feel and see in our overall health and wellness. I admit that making time for exercise is easier now that I work from home, but I also realize that I cannot make anything an excuse for not being good to myself.

I am also trying to eat wiser. I still enjoy a good bowl of ice cream, or a chocolate candy, but I savor the smaller amounts that I allow myself to have, and I do it less frequently. I try to eat more green and orange foods, and less white. I also realize that I can be satisfied with less food, and I don’t have to eat until I puke. It is easy to say and harder to do, but everyday I renew my commitment to myself and my goals, and so far it is paying off and coming off!

My relationships are another area that I am examining. I need to make sure that those people in my life know how important they are to me. I have a large number of acquaintances, but only a few true and close friends. Those friends have made a huge impact on how I live my life and some of the decisions that I have made over the years. They need to be recognized as the truly vital part of whom I am and who I will yet to become. My husband is one of the most important people in that category. I have been married to him for 13 years and I think that my marriage is as strong if not stronger than when we were first married. My husband and I have watched marriages of friends and family struggle, some even ending in divorce. I am not naïve enough to believe that it can’t happen to us, so I am making a new commitment to him and our marriage. Every couple with kids knows how easy it is to let the romance and intimacy of marriage take a back seat to the care of your children. My kids are very important to me, but I also know that if I don’t focus more on my marriage and myself, I won’t have anything to give to my kids. I want to be a good role model for my kids when it comes to relationships. I also want to be a good wife for my husband. Relationship experts talk about the importance of date nights, but we have a tight budget and it doesn’t always allow for traditional dates. My goal is to be more creative in our dates. We can have candlelight dinners at home after the kids go to bed, even if we are having hamburgers. We can create a spa atmosphere in our own bathroom tub. We can write love letters or poems to each other, something we haven’t done in years. Our love is strong and I know that only constant attention and creative thinking will continue to foster its growth.

I AM 40 AND PROUD! I hope that when I turn 60 and start to evaluate my life again, I will look over the previous 20 years and see accomplishments, advancements, and wonderments that are only dreams now. I hope that I see that I was happy with my life, and myself. I want to see that my family and friends continued to bring me joy and completeness, and that I have shared more of myself with them. I hope to see that I have continued to grow personally and professionally and that I have more in my life to be grateful for. And mostly I hope that at 60 I feel as great and proud as I do today!

Kim Dziobak is a personal coach dedicated to working with individuals and families to improve their health and wellness. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kim_Dziobak

Well I have hit 40

*sigh*

I thought 30 was hard. And in a lot of ways it was harder then turning 40. I think I was in shock that I was in my thirties. And it made it hard to accept. But there is no shock that I am 40. I feel it every time I get up in the morning. Yep I am the big 4 0. No denying it. My question now is what am I to do with it? What is my life supposed to look like now that I am 40 years old. Does this officially make me old? Is this the time that I am supposed to reinvent myself when I don't know if I ever invented myself in the first place? I am not really sure what I want this blog to be. I am not really sure what I want my life to be. I feel like I shouldn't complain because I have it pretty easy. But I feel that there is more. I am just not sure what the more is yet. Hopefully me getting my thoughts out here will help me find my more. And lead me to a place of reinvention that I can be happy with. I am scared of this journey. I have never really looked inward to see what I would find on the inside. I think I was afraid to know. But I feel it is time. I feel it is now or never. I feel like I need to take charge of who I am and what the rest of my life will look like. So wish me luck. Feel free to come alone on my journey from time to time and feel free to help give me direction. I would love to read stories on how you found yourself what it took for you to be happpy within your own skin.